I know it’s considered not cool, but I kind of like the whole Christmas/Hannukah/KwanzuSoltimas thing. People are all excited and there are nifty decorations and everything smells good–even the bums have a piney-fresh scent. It’s also when you can get Pfefferneusse with your coffee and no one thinks you’re sneezing when you ask for it. Well, a few of them do but that’s because they are uneducated savages! Get away from me with your insipid sugar cookies!
Ahem… but I digress…. As you guys know I have a strange obsession with Rudolph having once killed him off in a short story (“The Werewolf Before Christmas”, which can be found in the fabulous anthology Wolfsbane and Mistletoe) and outed Santa for hunting him through the mean streets of the world in one of my many horrible essays. And I happen to really love Christmas music. Not all Christmas music, but I do have a soft spot for truly warped stuff like “Wreck the Malls,” “I Want an Alien for Christmas,” “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen” and anything by PDQ Bach.
But I have to admit that one of my favorite evil Christmas songs is… Chiron Beta Prime by Jonathan Coulton. Which I include here with the video from the Jonathan Coulton Project:
Merry KwanzuSolstiHanuCrass, all you mine-slaves!