London Travelogue, Days the Third and Fourth

In which Mr Kat and I travel to Ipswich by “coach”–which is known as a bus to us Yanks–and have a lovely time at a Ruby Wedding Anniversary party. (Warning: many pictures!)

To get to Ipswich we first have to go to Victoria Rail Station which we get to by… yes, tube. We emerge at Victoria…
and discover that it is very large…
cavernous, even…
. And has strange wildlife… . No explanation is ever offered for why these young men are roaming Victoria Rail Station dressed as a hot dog, Darth Vader, a bottle of HP sauce, a samurai in his dressing gown (hidden by Darth Vader), and a banana.

We get lost trying to find Victoria Coach Station from which we will encoach (not to be mistaken for “encroaching”)–or to translate for the rest of us, get on the bus to Ipswich. Finally our coach arrives and we get aboard and begin our journey to Ipswich under the protection of our rather goofy driver who cautions the men that although there is a “loo” on board, sitting while using it will be appreciated by all since no one wants to hear complaints about the spontaneous redecoration of said WC, least of all him, all the way to Ipswich. After this speech, we take off and head through the streets of London on our way Northwest.

It’s amazing what pops up suddenly through bus windows as you rocket through town on a National Express coach. Things like… Westminster Cathedral…
which is under renovation and, according to the large purple banner “needs your help”… unidentified statues of dancers on top of unidentified buildings…
and you can see right up her skirt…
… Westminster Abbey heaves into view…
… and back out again and is replaced by…
Parliament Clock tower, or Big Ben as we all call it (although that’s actually the name of the primary bell.)

Then we dash through Bow Bells and Stepney Green and find ourselves outside of London and headed who knows which direction as I have become so turned around that I don’t know which way is North by now. But the driver does and we eventually find ourselves in the wilds of Suffolk .

And discover that the economy and ecology of England relies on rape.
(that’s not mustard.) Which is not a criminal act in the countryside of Suffolk but the plant from which we squeamish Americans get canola for the ubiquitous canola oil.

Finally, we reach the coach station at Ipswich Old Cattle Market and are met by John Scott who drives us to the Elizabeth hotel in Copdock–which name has nothing to do with the Old Bailey, or criminal trials, and a lot to do with the nearby river Orwell. The hotel has a very lovely staircase
which we utilize to scamper up one floor and take possesion of our hotel room for a quick kip before dinner and The Big Event.

Things go swimmingly and I get to meet a lot of Mr. Kat’s family, of whom I do not take photos as I am rather stupid–but I look very nice. My parents-in-law enjoy themselves considerably
as does everyone else. My husband gasses around with the hostess, Jill, and seems to have frightened her for the moment… and the high point of the evening is the arrival of Diana Ross!

Well, OK, maybe not actually Diana Ross, but a lady with great pipes who does a rather good imitation and manages to get the groom of 40 years and three of his friends to stand up and be her “Supremes”. It’s all tons of silly fun and everyone has a lovely time… including the 40-year bride and groom who are still very much in love, as you can see.

Everyone has a very lovely time

At last we all retire, sleep like logs all night on the most comfortable bed of our whole trip, and rise only for the traditional and huge English Breakfast at which I have my first grilled tomatoes and “flat mushrooms” but eschew the blood sausage–which I never see again for the whole trip. But I’m not upset by that. Later we caravan to the home of the Bride and Groom and have a lot of lazing about, watching football–or not–strolling in the garden and being stuffed silly with delicious food.

This continues through the day and the next morning, when, alas, Mr. Kat and I head back to London…

Tune in again soon for the next exciting episode of Kats in London!


About Kat Richardson

Writer, editor, eccentric pain in the tail, bestselling author of the Greywalker novels.
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6 Responses to London Travelogue, Days the Third and Fourth

  1. Sandy says:

    Ahhhh….. Wonderful memories. thanks.

  2. SciFiChick says:

    Brings back so many great memories! I need to go back soon!

  3. I need to finish up sizing all the pics–I took over 600 while we were there–and get discs to the family and friends. It really was tremendous fun. I want to go back already.

  4. Adele says:

    We have buses too, but buses do local services and coaches do longer routes as a whole. 🙂 Never been to ipswich.
    Mmm, does it sound very wrong if I say I love the rape fields, they look and smell so good, although hell to hayfever sufferers, mwahahahahahaha. 🙂

  5. scotts otley gb says:

    hi kat scotts of otley uk here,
    never even looked at a “blog” b 4 so didnt know what 1 was.
    we are so backward here is suffolk gb.
    viewed the blog. good.
    u will b pleased to know that the dryer has functioned perfectly ever since. must have been you lot with clothes that want to drive on the wrong side of the road to us and confused the poor thing. or overheated.
    “Mr Kat”…love it.
    Talkibg abt lovin it everyone seems to have loved “dianna”.
    Hope Mr Kat liked his pickles
    Luv & Stuff J&J

  6. Mr. Kat does indeed love his pickles and guards them jealously.

    Thanks so much for having us–it was lovely!

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